I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
