I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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