I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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