Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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