i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
