I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
