So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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