She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
