UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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