You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I could make wine with my vomit
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
