Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
