Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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