She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
