Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
