Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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