She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
