I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Everclear isn't food dammit
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
