THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
