you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
