i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
