He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
