But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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