So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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