THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize