Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
