he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
