We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
