you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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