would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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