please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
