I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
