Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
