your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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