She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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