there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm both gender and math confused
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
