He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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