Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
