I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
