it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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