I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize