I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
