I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
