he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
is it fun? or sober?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize