how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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