he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
