just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
im about as happy as oj after his trial
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
