Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I see more hoeing in ur future
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