We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
