i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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