so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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