I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I am naked and annoyed.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
