Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
what day is it and did you see me today?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
