this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize