Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
