She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
