She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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