I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Randomize
